It's Your Hand That's Leading Me
by FairyDustXO
Summary: James returns to his seventh year at Hogwarts harboring a secret that not even the Marauders can help him relieve. Lily wanted a calm year before she faced the war in the Wizarding World, little did she know it was going on inside the walls already.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – The Hogwarts Express

The Hogwarts Express in its splendor was a large train that was shining red and black in the evening time sunshine. The date was September first, and like so many September first's before this one, it was carrying young people with eager minds to their school year home. This was no ordinary train, and it was leaving from no ordinary location carrying some not so ordinary school aged young people.

The day long journey had embarked from King's Cross Station in London England on a platform that was not marked. The platform it took off from was called nine and three quarters, and several hours previous it had been packed with men and women wearing cloaks and boulder hats waving goodbye to children boarding the train wearing similar attire and carrying pet owls, rats and frogs. The train's ultimate location was a school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and it was located in a place where no ordinary trains ventured. The above mentioned school appeared to the ordinary eye to be a beat up and run down old building, but to the occupants of the train it was a place called home. To them it was a large castle with strong stone walls, welcoming teachers, and a wonderful expanse of green ground with a beautiful lake along side. The magic surrounding the castle was a strong kind of magic and for some it housed the power to be there with loved ones, for others to learn until one's heart was content and for others still, the magic presented opportunities for a lifetime of mysterious adventures.

The occupants of the train all looked out of their windows in awe to see home again after two months of vacation. The wait had been too long for some and not long enough for others, however to see Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry sparked a certain kind of joy among many students. In war times cheer was always welcomed, but sometimes misery ate at even the best of entertainers.

"Prongs mate, look out the window. We're finally home!" said the voice of a sandy haired boy named Remus Lupin.

James Potter looked up from the latest edition of his favorite quidditch magazine, to see his friends looking at him expectantly. He forced a small grin and uttered a response.

"Moony, Wormtail and I were thinking that for our first prank we should put a put a potion in Slytherin's drinks before breakfast tomorrow morning," Sirius Black said clapping his best mate on the shoulder. "You remember that great idea you had in fourth year to change Evans' hair green? Well it went off splendidly, so I figured we could slip a bit of that potion, except with red of course, into their drinks. Nothing says welcome back to Hogwarts like sporting Gryffindor colors."

James appreciated the efforts his friends were putting in to cheering him up, but his mates were tactless in reminding him of a past he regretted. He felt like a much different person sitting there in that moment than he had in his past six years.

In his life James Potter had suffered his fair share of burdens and tragedies. He had always learned to cover a frown with a smile, a disappointment with a laugh and to take everything in stride. James was aware that if he could run fast enough burdens would have a hard time catching up, and that way he didn't have to look any particular looming monsters in the eye.

He had a positive force on his side in the form of his best mates. They had been there through thick and thin since the tender age of eleven years old. There were four of them who called themselves the Marauders, the name told of their devotion and loyalty. The four, however could not have been more different. James was the fearless leader and quidditch captain, popular among the students for his sense of humor and strikingly defining looks. Sirius Black was the always outspoken prankster, who had girls flocking to him because of his long and elegant black hair and deep black eyes. Remus Lupin was a quiet boy who could put an end to an intellectual battle with a quick and easy fight, he put a lot of time into staying out of the public eye and focusing on his studies. Peter Pettigrew was a small mousey, watery-eyed boy who had no defining personality traits; however he was well spoken and always listened for the latest news around the castle.

These boys appeared to be that and more on the outside but on the inside one would find immensely caring friends, who could slip past the ever fronted exterior to find what was really happening in the head or the heart.

James, sitting in the train pondered how this year would fair out. Certainly it would not be the same as the last six, because without his driving force he found himself spinning out of control. The loss of his parents the past month was devastating and the sympathy of strangers or even the devotion of his best mates could help. James kept on running, but there was an impending monster that could not be hoaxed for much longer before there would be a face to face encounter of the cruelest kind.

"Potter, it's time for patrols," said a voice from the doorway to the compartment he shared with his three friends. He looked up to see none other than Lily Evans standing at the door waiting for him to fulfill his Head Boy duties.

It had come as a shock to the boys when James had been named Head Boy. Of course they had pegged the position for Remus, but James had certainly done a lot of maturing in the past year or so and his grades remained steady, it therefore seemed only sensible that Dumbledore choose the more outgoing of the two. It had come as even more of a shock to Lily Evans, who was the head girl to his Head Boy. She had screamed to her parents for about ten minutes before owling Potter himself to clarify the mistake in her letter. Lily soon discovered that it was not a mistake, and by the looks of James' shiny gold badge inscribed with the letter "H" she would be spending a year in his company.

"I'll be there in just a moment." James signed and took one more look across the sunset from his window before giving a weak smile to his friends and following the girl out the doors.

As they walked down the corridor there was a silence between the two of them. So much had changed in the world since they had last encountered each other two months ago, and neither was quite sure of how to break the silence that resided between them. In June when they had parted James had been quite as infatuated with Lily as he was for the two year previous, and Lily was still passionate as ever about her hatred for James.

"I was really sorry to hear about your parents James." Lily said looking over at him through nervous green eyes.

James just nodded his head looking down at the floor littered in chocolate frog wrappers. He could imagine the look passing on Lily's face, her fair skin tinted red, her lips in a tight line, her emerald green almond shaped eyes that he loved to gaze into filled with pity as her auburn curls framed around her slender face. He had hardly seen anything but that facial expression on peoples' faces for the past month and he didn't need to see it on Lily.

When James did look up not only was he surprised but he knew that she was not going to treat him like everyone else had been treating him. She would treat him like she always had, and he had never felt more thankful for her contempt. For years he had wished that she would see him in the same light he saw her, he had refined his ways to help in the process, but in that very moment James had never been more grateful to her for seeing the worst of him.

"Don't worry about it."

"You know I'm really sorry for the letters I sent you; at the time I had no idea. It wasn't really until Mary told me that it happened that I knew and I felt terrible. I mean there you were suffering and I was sitting there thinking 'James Potter is head boy and therefore Dumbledore must have been going out of his mind' and I was writing you terrible…"

James noted Lily's tendency to ramble on and raised his eyes to her face and gave his first real smile in days, "Not to worry Evans, those letters were a nice change in pace from the sympathy oozing from everyone else. Truth be told, it felt great to have something not affected by Voldemort, even if it was your dislike for me and the authority I now hold."

Lily gasped appropriately at the proper usage of the real name for He Who Must Not Be Named, but did not respond.

The two walked in silence until the end of the train where they were to accept the busy task of directing terrified first years into the hands of Hagrid. The rest of the students had already boarded carriages to go back to the school and only soon only James and Lily were standing on the platform in Hogsmeade village under the moonlight. Lily soon caught a glimpse of her girl friends up the path waiting and as she started to walk away.

James glanced up to see her dancing down the path in the moonlight, and knew he hadn't felt the way his heart was feeling in a long time. "Hey, Lily!"

Lily turned around her back to the moonlight so that James could not clearly see her face. "What is it Potter?"

By the tone in her voice she was trying to be patient with him. James grinned and walked down the short distance in the well trodden dirt path to meet her before responding, "You look lovely tonight."

"Sod off Potter."

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

This is my third stab at writing Lily/James fanfiction and I'm certain that this time I have a good game plan. I know my characters, I know where I end up and I know how to get there. I can't promise weekly updates, but I can try my best for updates as close together as possible.

The following chapters are longer than this, chapter one is almost like a prologue.

Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2 The Trouble With Boys & Girls

Chapter 2 – Seventh Year Welcome

"Welcome everyone to another year at Hogwarts. To the first year students I offer a hearty congratulation on being placed in your houses and hope that you come to find some comfort in your housemates. To returning students I remind you that the Forbidden Forest is just that, and the use of magic on another student outside of class is strictly not allowed." Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling as he stood at the front of the Great Hall. This was a traditional start of year feast and the teaching staff was seated appropriately behind where professor Dumbledore stood while the students sat at four long tables in front. The ceiling above was enchanted to look like the night sky, and there was a storm brewing.

"I would also like to extend a word of caution to all. Beyond these walls it is uncertain where or in whom we are to find safety. I want you all to be cautious and be prepared for changes, however rest assured that in this castle you are safe. With that let the feast begin. Eat now and may restful sleep fall upon you later."

As Dumbledore sat down in his high back chair, the Great Hall started buzzing with animated chatter and the plates were all filled with delicious food.

Lily Evans sat next to her best friend Mary MacDonald who had a cascading main of brown hair flowing behind her and blue eyes peering intensely into Lily's eyes. When Dumbledore finished the two immediately started to chatter like the rest of the students.

"You know Lily it won't be so bad."

"Oh Mary, you know how insufferable he is. Though he does seem very different now, I mean I guess anyone would be." Lily said resting her chin on her hand and scooping mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"It just goes to show you that this danger is great. He who must not be named is gathering up follower's everyday and he is going to wipe the world clean of… well you know what I mean." Mary glanced around the hall to notice that the liveliness that usually accompanied the students at the welcome feast was lacking. There had been three attacks this summer and there had been more than five families affected by the outcome. Even at the age of seventeen people were becoming aware that the war was raging and action must be taken.

"I feel like my family is in danger," Lily said trying to keep her voice down, "I mean if the Potters, who are a very influential pureblood family can be killed, what is to happen to the family of a muggleborn? And of course Mary, you must be concerned for Edgar's safety."

Lily pondered on the reality her soft spoken and carefully worded friend. Her boyfriend of two years Edgar Bones had graduated the previous year, he was a year ahead of the two in Gryffindor House. Now he was training to be an auror, and as Mary was stuck in school for another year it was increasingly difficult. Lily was sure being apart for a year was hard enough before you added on the fact that they were in the middle of a war and Mary could never be certain of his security.

"It does not do well for me to dwell upon it. I wish times were different and people could enjoy romance, but letters everyday will have to suffice for us. It is not as if I am the only one with a loved one out there in the world fighting in this war." Mary said with confidence as she continued to eat.

"After we finish eating we should go on a walk about with Dorcas and Marlene before bed." Lily said referring to the girls' other good friends Dorcas Meadows in Ravenclaw and Marlene McKinnon in Hufflepuff.

The two were sitting a few seats down from where the Marauders were chatting amiably. Sirius was entertaining the females that sat near them with a joke and Peter was listening attentively. Remus and James were chatting quietly.

"You seem to be in better spirits now Prongs." Remus said watching his friend shovel turkey and pudding into his mouth.

When James swallowed he raised his head and gave a real smirk. "I feel much better now. I realised that being upset at everyone for pitying me is not going to help me feel better. I need to surround myself with my normal life."

Sirius had in the meantime stopped taking long enough to hear James' words and he had an ecstatic grin on his handsome face. "Welcome back mate," he exclaimed getting closer to James. In an undertone he added, "I was getting really worried Prongs. I was almost ready to call in the professionals."

James grinned and embraced Sirius in a brotherly hug. "Well I'm bloody glad you didn't."

Peter looked over and smiled as well. "So what prompted this change of heart? I mean you haven't exactly been responsive for the past month."

Remus nudged Peter in the side and continued, "That's not how he meant it, what he was really asking is why you suddenly decided to move on from the attack. We wouldn't blame you if you weren't ready quite yet."

"I've accepted that there are always casualties and deaths in a time of war. But it is time to move on and make the most of the life. It's also about time Lily realizes I'm not such a bad guy and I have the whole year to prove it to her." James said looking down the table to where Lily Evans sat.

Sirius looked to Remus and Peter before voicing their thoughts, "But what about Marlene?"

James looked ahead blankly. "Right," he swallowed as his face paled, "Marlene."

"You do know she's one of Lily's best mates." Peter said conversationally.

James let out a loud groan before hitting his head on the solid oak table, "Maybe she's forgotten that we're dating. It has been two months after all, right?"

Four girls were walking about the lake, catching up after a summer away from each other. They were all very excitedly giggling and walking arm in arm under the half moon and star filled sky. The reflection of the trees and barren surrounding areas were magnificent and Lily would catch the occasional sound of owls in the night time air. She wished these moments with her girl friends would never end. She could remember a time when boys were trivial to happiness, where war was something that didn't happen in England and where a walk around the grounds of Hogwarts could make everything better. Lily missed those days more than she could express but growing up meant facing the reality of war and the fact that boys would be a constant part of life and even happiness.

"So Marlene how was your summer?" Mary asked from the other side of Lily.

"Oh it was all right. I mean nothing too big happened. I spent most of it worrying about James, he didn't even write me to tell me what had happened, and I sent him tons of letters and he never once responded. Today he didn't even look at me. I just don't know what's going on..." Marlene pondered as she ran her hand through her short blond hair.

Dorcas, always the gossip, was a very smart and well educated girl not only in her school work but on the goings on in other peoples' lives. "Well I heard from Remus that James hasn't spoken to almost anyone since the attack. He's been very shaken up apparently. Remus said he hasn't even opened up to Sirius, and you know how those two are."

Mary looked to Lily who was looking down at the ground and made a split second decision. "Well you know, he did talk to Lily for a good bit today on the train!"

Marlene looked to Lily who was glaring to her other side at Mary, wishing she had kept her mouth closed. Marlene was the first to speak, "Did he say anything about me Lily?"

Lily shook her head as to say no. "Oh we didn't really do much talking, more like patrolling with me offering my sympathy."

Marlene looked to Dorcas and noticed something gleaming in her eyes that she could not place her finger on. Then she looked to Mary who had linked her arm with Lily's. "Oh. Well in that case I think I'll be off to find James and see if he wants to talk or something. I'll see you all in classes tomorrow."

The three remaining girls watched as Marlene walked off towards the castle, and they sat down beneath a large tree on the lake's edge. Dorcas took a look towards Lily. "You know it is okay to talk to the bloke Lily."

Lily blushed, "I never said it wasn't."

Mary rolled her eyes and laid back to see the three quarter moon. "Lily you are going to be working with him whether you like him or not so you may as well just be friends with him. After all Dorcas may as well be dating Remus so we will be spending a lot of time with the Marauders this year."

Dorcas coughed, "Not to mention that Marlene is dating James himself. And I know Marlene will not be pleased with this whole situation. You know how she gets Lily; she won't want you anywhere near him. Maybe you will be seeing less of him than you think."

Lily looked over the lake as she listened to Mary speak again. "I don't think that will last too much longer. Poor Marlene, but she knew what she was getting into with him in the beginning, and his parents' death will probably make him even less excited to be with her."

Lily spoke, "Well then I guess there's a reason why Marlene and I haven't been very close in the past few years. She sees something in James Potter that I will never see." And with that Lily let out an extremely girly giggle. "Some girls will just never learn."

Silence ensued for a few moments before Lily stood up to be excused as she was going to go to meet Dumbledore and James to discuss their new living arrangements.

Dorcas laid there beside Mary and commented, "Whether Marlene refuses to see it or not, with James it will always come back to Lily. I've known the bloke since I was five years old and he might not have the intention of hurting Marlene but he's more passionate about Lily than he's been about anything. I think that right now he needs Lily more than he needs anyone and Lily is going to come to realize that he's not so bad."

Mary rolled over to face Dorcas, "How Marlene will take it is another story all together."

"James!" Marlene panted finding him walking along the 4th floor corridor with his friends.

James turned around once Peter nudged him hard in the ribs. He put on a small, fake smile and greeted her with a hug, "Hi Marlene."

Marlene's face suddenly dripped with sympathy, the kind of sympathy he hated seeing. Her eyes shone with pity and her hands took his. "I'm so sorry James, I wish you would have returned my letters and let me help you through this all."

James looked back at her with a very blank expression and shrugged off her hands. He wanted nothing more than to be out of this situation. Back in 6th year when nothing had any consequence he wanted to date someone to make Lily jealous as silly as it sounded to him now. Marlene had been open about her feelings towards him for quite some time and Sirius gave him the advice to go out with her for a bit, get something stirring. Of course Sirius never thought about a girl's feelings and Remus was quick to advise against it because of the strain it could put on Lily and Marlene's friendship. James was so taken by the idea and nothing could have stopped him.

That was, until his parents' deaths reshaped his life. There was no time for trivial pursuit anymore and the present was the only thing that mattered at all. Still, James could not muster up the courage to tell this to Marlene, "Look I have to go meet with Lily about our new dorms."

James bid goodbye to his friends and began walking past Marlene. She looked at him downcast but did not utter a word. When James was out of sight she gave a small smile to the other Marauders before heading back to her own dormitory in Hufflepuff.

Later that evening in the Gryffindor common room, there could be found four students around the fire talking and playing exploding snap.

"MacDonald!" a boy with sleek black hair gasped out as his eyebrow was singed off, "I'm going to get you!"

Mary MacDonald looked at Sirius Black and laughed. She didn't run or hide, she simply laughed. "Well it is an appropriate way to start the year. Maybe it'll keep some of the girls off you for a few weeks. You should be thanking me."

Sirius glared at her, "Hey we can't all be in love by the age of 17 so I need my dashing good looks to win over the ladies."

Remus sniggered behind him. "Well you do look like an oaf mate, no one can help it. And besides, there's always Gertrude."

Peter, Remus and Mary all laughed very hard as they glanced across the common room to see an unfortunate looking girl with big thick glasses and unruly mousy brown hair. She was more heavy set than Mary, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas however she was in reality one of Lily's closest companions. They all knew not to take a stab at Gertrude and her love for Sirius while Lily was around.

"Gertrude and Sirius... It does have a ring to it I must admit." Peter said thoughtfully while he sported a mischievous grin.

Sirius took this as his opportunity to redeem himself. "You're just bitter Peter because when you dated her in fifth year we gave you hell for it."

The four continued to joke around in this manner, while making light of Sirius' lack of a left eyebrow, until James and Lily entered the common room.

Mary jumped off of her seat to see Lily, "How is the common room?"

Lily and James smiled at their friends, "Oh it's going to be fantastic! It's all red and gold with the plushiest couches and the nicest mahogany tables. It's a perfect place to get work done."

Sirius, who was now standing next to James, muttered, "Sounds like a perfect place for a good snog it what it sounds like."

Lily blushed and smacked Sirius lightly on the arm, "That was uncalled for."

"Well I guess all there is left to say is goodnight," James declared to everyone, "and welcome back to Hogwarts... for the last time."

A/N: Please Read and Review. Thanks!


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